The Simple Life of Lil' Jo Bumphus

Introduction:

Lil" Jo Bumphus as he is known to his family, lives on a farm with his feathery and hoofed cousins. The feathers belong to the cackling and crowing chickens, who spend their day, rain or shine, a pickn' and a scratchin' in the dirt. Looking for bugs and other tiny creepy crawlies that they can peck to pieces in order to fill their gut between feedings from Lil' Jo Bumphus.
Lil' Jo Bumphus also likes his big cousins too. They see him heading for the barn and when spotted by Big Red, Little Red, Donna and her mom they all come a mooing and snorting knowing that the green bales of alfalfa will soon be given out by Lil' Jo Bumphus. The Herd sees Lil" Jo as their provider of nourishment and Lil' Jo sees them as four legged family who he would not trade for all the soda and Blow Pops in the world.

Lil' Jo is also blessed with a furry sidekick; Tina the St. Bernard/Labrador mutt. Though she is Lil' Jo's buddy, she was actually adopted into the Bumphus's Clan by Big Jo Bumphus. During the summer mornings and warm sunshine flowing afternoon, Lil' Jo and Tina are often found under the walnut tree; sipping Dr. Pepper and sharing licks on the apple flavored Blow-Pops. Though Lil" Jo and Tina are careful to never tell their dad or mom about the shared snacks.

During the weekend Tina is attached to Big Jo Bumphus' hip like yellow on a hillbilly's one good tooth. And having one good tooth is a good thing, because having two means more brushing time!
Big Jo' and Tina spend there day on small farm projects; mending fences, trimming trees, mowing lawns, yelling at Lil' Jo to grab the "Flathead" screwdriver or "Where is my hammer, Lil' Jo, I have told you to put my tools back when you are finished with them!" Be darned if Big Jo was right as always.

See, When Lil' Jo and Tina sit under the walnut tree all day, because Momma Bumphus makes him stay outside all day during the summer so she can clean and read the Grocery Store Romance books without distraction and smoke her Pal Mal's, Lil' Jo and Tina use the hammer to split the walnuts. Lil' Jo once let Tina crack them but got kinda tired of picking out the wet grass and dirt chunks from Tina's slobber, just to get to the food!

After Big Jo and Tina finished their daily chores it was time for what was really important to Big Jo......Ice cold beer and a pack or two of Camel's. The sound of the pop top popping and the smell of the smooth smoke was the official beginning of the weekend. If that picnic bench Big Jo sat at could talk it would have been a hired by the beer and tobacco companies as their public relations officer! Big Jo always said that "beer and smokes are the reward for the hard working man. And if it took multiple years off at the end of his life, that was his retirement package." He also was fond of the "Root hog or die" credo. "A man should always depend on himself and not the government", he would say. "There are two types of people in this world, those who care for themselves and those who want someone else to care for them. And I don't care for them people!" Stated Big Jo Bumphus. And he should know, he cared for all of the clan Bumphus'; Lil Sis Bumphus, Lil' Jo Bumphus, Bigger Sis Bumphus, even Bigger Sis' Bumphus and lastly Biggest Brother Chucky Dino Bumphus.