The Turkey Whisperer

Living on a small farm with 5 hungry mouths to feed three times a day makes for some stressful times for Big Jo Bumphus. While he works twelve hour days at the family business, it does not often pay the bills or feed the hunger that grumbles in side each Bumphus' boiler. So the chickens provided the dinner table with their eggs and often their bodies.

Of course, the hens were not the target of the Bumphus Butcher. It was all the little fryer chicks that would end up on the plate and eventually the septic tank.
During the week, every week, it was Lil' Jo's daily chore routine to feed all the barnyard critters and keep their water clean. Pretty standard stuff on the farm. What was not in his standard routine was soon to become a Lil' Jo legend that is still talked about today.

One day Lil' Jo was taken by surprise when 50 chicken giraffes appeared in one of the chicken houses' rooms. Lil' Jo asked his dad, "What kinda chickens are these?" Red bald heads, tiny chin flaps and a cackle that went "Gobble." It sounded and looked like the lady across the canal from the farm. "They not chickens you big dummy." A reference to one of his favorite t.v. shows; Sanford and Son, "They are turkeys." Lil Jo thought that it would be Thanksgiving everyday after they were raised up and their heads bopped off and their feathers plucked. Boy oh boy, "some good eats there."

Well a few weeks into the "Turkey Experiment" Lil' Jo went out one morning to feed and water. What he found was a barnyard crime scene. Something that would never had been seen on Noah's Boat, and should never be witnessed by the faint of heart or a puky stomach. There were 5 little turkey bodies, or at least were once bodies, ripped apart and laying in the dirt. All of the surviving gobblers were huddled in the corner of the coup, as if this would protect them from whoever ran their butterball buddies over with a lawn mower.

Lil' Jo quickly determined that a cat had entered into what must have appeared to the cat to be a game show called; Gobble the Gobbler. Lil Jo informed his dad of the the terrible turkey disaster. In almost an instant, without even a blink of an eye or change of expression, his dad said,"I will put down a mattress and sleeping bag and you will sleep there every night until they are ready for their bopping."

" Sleeping with the turkeys" Lil' Jo responded in disbelief, and as a statement and not a question. Because there was no question. If Big Jo Bumphus said you were sleeping with turkeys, as sure as the lawn dies where the dog pees, you were sleeping with turkeys.

tbc..........